Tuesday, 2 March 2010

There just simply hasn't been the time to write. For that I apologise.

Each day I swear that I am going to update my blog and then come late evening the time to do it has passed and I retire to bed. The last time I wrote I had just been let out of hospital for the second time and was close to becoming a father. I have recently begun to receive emails from friends tentatively asking if all is well with me or the baby, wondering if the radio silence is an indication that somewhere something has gone wrong. An update then is long overdue.

Two days after my release from hospital, popping hundreds of pills a day, my temperature spiked and I nervously called the hospital to see what they thought. I felt fine during the day but sweats still plagued my nights and along with this feverish temperature they decided to call me back in. On the Friday I was put back in my room and taken off of all medication. The plan being that what ever it was would be allowed to come to full strength and during a shivering, sweating fit, bloods would be taken and cultures made so that they could nail this infection for once and for all.

And so in my room I sat. I slept; I read; I watched the start of the winter Olympics; I persuaded the nurses to bring the leftovers of meals to me rather than binning them and thus enjoyed massive portions of lasagne; I felt no increase in symptoms; I watched the cannula in my arm slowly block with blood as it went unused.

Come Monday morning doctors arrived ready to inspect the samples taken from the weekend and were confused to find no record of anything being taken. On finding that nothing had happened, that I had not descended into a feverish hell whilst not on any medication they took some blood to check the infection markers. I felt great and the bloods showed that, unaided, my body was fighting off the infection on its own. I still had a way to go before they would be normal but feeling great I was discharged. Thoroughly rested and ready to face the world.

The weekend inside had been worth it as far as resting was concerned and I felt ready to think about returning to work. From that Monday I also had only ten days before our baby was going to be delivered so I planned a week of working from home, followed by a weekend of finishing the nursery. Those plans were soon derailed as the date for the caesarian delivery of our little breech was brought forward a week and only three days from my release from hospital I was back inside. This time though as a visitor. Sitting in an operating theatre chatting to my wife whilst our baby was fished out of her tummy. At exactly thirty nine weeks Emma came screaming into the world weighing in at a slight five pounds she is small but absolutely perfect.

From then on there simply hasn't been the time to write. Paternity leave over I am now back at work pulling full days, every day. Evenings and weekends are spent cuddling or just gazing at our new born baby. Although a lot is new I feel like I am living a normal life again: The morning commute; a day at my desk; the coming home to a family.

For the first time in nearly six months Leukeamia is not constantly at the forefront of my mind; Living has taken over.