Friday 23 October 2009

Timing, they say, is everything. There's never really a good time though to get diagnosed with Leukaemia but the timing of my diagnosis seemed, at first, to come at the worst of times.

Some years ago, due to the misdiagnosis of a condition, my wife had to undergo a fair amount of surgery. Surgery that has severely impacted our ability to have children. Surgery that has meant for the last few years we have been having ongoing fertility treatment in an attempt to start a family.

This year, after the emotional roller coaster of subsequent IVF failures, we finally had some success. And the result of that success continues to grow.

The news of my Leukaemia came the day before we had our 20 week scan. The pensive excitement of the week shattered in a single phone call. At the time of the scan, the word Leukaemia hanging in my mind with no details as to the type or prognosis, I was at my lowest ebb. The results of the scan were all good but I was not sure, at that point, if I would be around for everything else that was to follow. Birth; school; graduation?

Now that things are clearer, the diagnosis confirmed, and the prognosis reasonably good, excitement about the impending birth has returned. But even before the birth she, yes we think its a girl, is having a massive impact on my life.

Since this whole thing began I have not slept well. I struggle to get to sleep and then once I am there my nights are filled with surreal dreams and plagued by cold sweats, the latter being one of the symptoms of my condition. I often find myself getting up at 3am, towelling myself down whilst, half asleep, apologising profusely to my wife for once again turning my side of the bed into a swimming pool. After nights like this I find myself shattered come the following afternoon and in spite of this tiredness the cycle continues.

Relief from this cycle is now coming from my daughter (or son, you can never be 100% sure). Unborn though she is I obtain a serene calmness by slowly drifting of to sleep, hand resting on her mum's tummy, feeling her kick and wriggle. Nights where there is most activity as I doze off are those when I sleep the best. Often without dreaming or sweating.

I am sure that the sleep deprivation will return once she's 'out' but until then I feel I already owe her a debt of gratitude for helping me through this trying period.

She (or he) is the greatest distraction from this turmoil and her timing is perfect.

4 comments:

  1. Hola!!

    Me encontre con tu blog buscando en flickr fotos de banco de sangre y transfusiones para una tarea.

    Soy mexicano y estudio laboratorista clinico, y precisamente uno de los temas que veo en clase es la Leucemia.

    Me imagino que es díficil escribir acerca de eso, sin embargo, creo que es una buena manera de asimilarlo mejor.

    Por cierto, que buenos posts tienes :)

    Te agregaré a mi blogroll y procuraré pasar a leerte todos los dias (o cada que haya un post nuevo).

    Saludos, Dios te Bendice.

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  2. Hi Bixo,

    Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment.

    Whilst my blog is not full of really technical details I hope it has something interesting for your studies and if you ever want more information feel free to email me.

    I do not know if the approach to treating my Leukaemia is the same here in the UK as it would be in Mexico.

    Good luck with the studies, us sufferers need clever people like you in order to survive and hopefully to one day provide a cure.

    Best regards,

    Rich

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  3. Night sweats - I had loads of them.

    I tell you what can help - get an electric blanket. It may not stop the sweats as such, but on a low heat, it dries the sheets. Good for airing the bed the next day and also another good layer of protection for the matress.

    Argos were doing them half-price in Jan sales.

    I got one and don't regret it - also nice to warm the bed up before you get in. With your immune system hosed, keeping warm is hard and you'll appreciate a nice warm bed to get into.

    OK, it's not very rock'n'roll but needs must and all that ...

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  4. Argos also do an 'electric throw' which doesn't have the bulk of an electric blanket and is great for adding extra toastiness to a sofa.

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